No Instant Gratification Here

I was thinking today about how long it has taken me to settle into being a stay at home mom. I wish that I could say that I embraced it as a blessing and woke every morning praising God for His provision of letting me stay at home. Instead I struggled with wanting to "be" someone. I wanted recognition, praise, and even a little spending money. Instead I had less money, was attacked by people who felt threatened by my choices, and lived full of guilt. It was really hard to keep going. But today I realized that I am starting to settle into the life God has given me. Man, I am one slow learner! I no longer am furious when T gets to walk out of the door in the morning. I don't long for the organized atmosphere of an office or long to be challenged mentally (getting children through the day is all the challenge I need!) I guess I have realized that while parenting does not provide instant gratification, the results can be stunning. As the boys are getting older I am overwhelmed by the fruit I see in their lives. I now understand that God really did know what He was doing when He led me down this path. I hope I continue to learn to settle into my life and stop trying to live everyone else's.