Some days I just wake up in a Tornado of a mood. I have to give myself pep talks that go something like this:
"Now R, you know you are a bit emotional and angry this morning. Most likely it is due to hormones (or that large amount of pie and ice cream you had right before bed last night) so you are going to have to be careful today not to devour your sweet loved ones. OK, let's start the day by praying for them...Dear Lord, Keep them safe and help their day to be good and help them to behave, because you know how much I hate it when they are rowdy when I am stressed and I bet they are going to wake up rowdy, in fact I bet they are already destroying their rooms. I better go yell at them....no, no, no wait they are fine. Calm down, no one is even awake and you are already mad. Better get up and fix breakfast, you know they will need a good start for VBS. I hate VBS. It is so tiring and so much trouble...whoa, whoa, anger again! CALM DOWN! Now make some lunch for your husband. Here is the bread, I hate bread and I hate sandwiches, I don't want to eat them, why do I have to fix them for everyone else. Why can't he make his own lunch. I don't even think I should help him at all. (tears start) but, but, but I just love him so much. I am so mean. Maybe I should write him a sweet note. I have been so grumpy this morning....Dear T, I love you so much. Have a wonderful day! Don't forget to talk to the secretary about your day off, like I have asked over and over and over but you never do...Ooop, that's not so loving, sigh (tears again as I crumple the paper) I do everything wrong! My family probably hates me. I am so sad. I need chocolate!
Is it any wonder that I occasionally wonder if I am really Bi-Polar?
Just writing this has made me smile-of course who knows how long that will last?!?
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"Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored His name." Malachi 3:16
Beauty
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7 comments:
Oh R, this is so real! I love how your prayer for your kids never ended but got interupted by your other thoughts. I often wonder myself if I have a split personality. Love you and your honesty.
My day goes something like that sometimes too ... forget bipolar, I think we're just all women. ;) Sometimes I wonder how our mothers did it withOUT the support of their friends in a very real way. Not to be trite, but I think the ever-changing, unpredictable emotions/hormones are a very REAL part of the curse that just don't go away... no matter how much medication we're on. Lift your head, friend ...we're all in this together. Thanks for your refreshing honesty.
Here here.. I too liked the prayer part that got interrupted.. I always wonder if God would like to diagnose us with a.d.d. im glad to know im not the only one that does that.
I love this post. Have a good cry, girl. Let it aaaaaaallllllllllllll out!!! Sounds like you need it. You need a good scream probably too. Do you have an old stump in your yard?? You should go at it with an axe. It's very theraputic. (Better than the old computer monitor I destroyed with a hammer.) That was difficult to rid of. In fact, it's still in the woods...weeds towering over it now, but sitting out my bathroom window as a constant reminder of a really good day of releasing some very pent up anger. Pent? I don't think I've ever spelled out "pent" not sure about that one....anyway, I hope you have a great day of spilling it to God. Sometimes we just need to. I think He gave it to you on this day just so you'll take it to Him. So GO FOR IT!!! Love you for the honesty...
That sounds like yesterday morning at my house...
Wow does this sound all too familiar. No wonder you didn't notice my moodiness yesterday morning. I didn't notice anything with you either. Love ya lots! Thanks for being my friend!
Just an additional comment. Isn't it wonderful how God can work things out even when we feel like things are falling apart? You encourage me without even trying!
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